It was a brutal, awful, lousy weekend playing poker. After a great start Saturday morning, I went on to lose ten percent of my online bankroll Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Jesus. I am in a state of shock, actually, physically kinda numb. Bad beat after bad play after bad luck. Pardon my french, but goddamn, was that fucking awful. Everything from my top pair, top kicker running into two pair, to my middle set getting crushed by top set, to incredible suckouts by the opp, to my going on tilt and essentially saying what the fuck, I'm not backing down to to this yahoo raising me again.... arghgh.
I’m in an emotional place right now where I wonder if I’m cut out for this game or not. I know that I have the technical skills to play it, but I’m not sure if I have the emotional stuff necessary to suffer these kinds of swings. Either I have to give up completely or maybe scale way back to the lowest buy-in games and just play down there. I can take a $10 loss in one sitting, but ten times that amount is just way too much to process.
Oh, and to cap it all off, I think there's some collusion happening online on Full Tilt. Okay, maybe it's just my emotional state right now, or maybe it's paranoia, but.... I'm going to write the site tonight and have them check on two players that seem always to be at the same $1/2 table with each other. My poker tracker numbers suggest they are playing IDENTICAL poker: same VPIP, same preflop raise percentage, same aggression rating. They always seem to be sitting across from each other and, coincidently or not, they’ve collectively taken a big part of my 'roll this week. Something sure feels fishy. Or maybe I'm just in denial...
All in for now…
-Bug
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