Results Don't Matter.
Results Don't Matter.
Repeat to oneself, over and over after suffering a cooler.... RDM.
Mr. Multi and I took a quick trip up to Talking Stick Resort this morning for another try at the Last Saturday of the Month tourney. This time, we get there with plenty of time to spare... which is fortunate, because it was another sold out affair, with over 470 entrants, and long lines of alternates. Part of the reason for the big turnout was the heavy rains we got today, which drove a lot of the resort golfers indoors to try their hand at this poker thing. Said another way: dead money. Lots of dead money.
Alas, neither MM nor I made the money. MM got dribbled away, blind by blind, while I, in contrast, built up a nice healthy chip stack early on, but eventually got coolered big time and was sent a'packin'. Here be the highlights:
Started with T7K in chips and 25/50 blinds. It's nice to have 140 big blinds to start, and my game plan was to see cheap flops while deep stacked and then play a post flop game early on. My table had lots of guys in ballcaps, hoodies, headphones, and... ponchos? The blond white guy across from me sits down wearing massive plaid poncho, mirrored sunglasses, mini-sombrero, and menacing toothpick. He was seated directly across from me, and on the first hand he opened UTG with a big 5x raise. Two callers in EP, and I then folded A8o. Board was scary wet, and they went to a cheap showdown. Poncho Villa turns over J8o. Viva Mexico! His opponents turn over 76o and A4s. Viva dead money! And we were off.
Lots of action ensued, with tons of aggression and bizarre play. I folded a couple of hands, then picked up QQ in early position. I limp-opened and was not disappointed when I got two callers and then a squeeze from Mr. Toothpick in a Poncho. I 4bet and it folds back around. Nice start to building a stack.
A few hands later, a young kid directly to my right limp opens in MP. I folded some trash hand, and it folds to a giant of a man on the button, who calls. Long story short, the kid turns over KK, which loses to the giant holding T-2 on an X-2-2-X-X board. Crazy stuff, but I love the bad play. Kid mutters something about KK never paying off for him. Uh, right.
A few hand later, there's a limp from an old guy two seats to my right. I bump it up to 4x with QQ and get three callers, including Pancho Villa and the old guy. Board is K-A-5 double suited. Old guy donks and I fold. He wins with a set of Kings. Seriously.
Blinds go to 50/100. I'm in the big blind with Kc5c and it's a 5-way limped pot by the time it gets to me. Before I can act, the big blind to my left says check. Dealer reminds him I am yet to act. I figure the odds with my kumquat hand are too good for even me to fold, so I complete. BB says check again. Board brings two clubs, and I check. Action folds to the guy to my right, who min bets. I check-raise and get three callers. Turn brings a beautiful low club, giving me the second nut flush, and I lead again. Get one caller. River is a fourth club, which I hate to see (not because I'm afraid of the Ac, but because I think it will kill the action if villain doesn't have a club.) I lead small, but the opp folds. Sigh.
A couple hands later, I fold AQo to an UTG raise and a MP 3bet. Board of course comes with two queens, but I'm happy with my fold. RDM, baby!
Rags for a bit, then I make the first stupid play of the day, open-limping ATs UTG, with the intention of getting cute and RR'ing if someone decides to bump it up. Unfortunately, there's four limpers behind and the board comes out crappy low cards. I donk 1/2-pot, but get raised by Pancho Villa, who I am sure holds at least a tiny pair that crushes my hand. Don't really know what I was thinking on this hand, but I fold and pretend I know what I'm doing.
Blinds are now up to 100/200 and I've got T12.5K, which is over 60 big blinds. I'm feeling cocky. Poker gods sense this and decide to take aim at me.
I open raise from CO with 96s. Folds to big blind who tanks forever before 3betting me relatively big. I do the old hollywood thing before folding. He shows AQs. I say some bullshit thing about how it would have been a race. He nods sagely. I fold lamely.
Lots of folding rags to a lot of action. Some of the shorter stacks are getting desperate, but my stack is in good shape to weather what Mr. Multi calls the popcorn stage of a tournament....
...and then then cooler strikes. I've got KsQs on the button. The giant open raises UTG. He's been showing down lots of suited cards, AXo, trap hands, non-suited connectors, etc from all positions, and he seems very fit-or-fold postflop. Two callers, and I ponder RR'ing from the button. Instead I call, and the big blind comes along. Flop is a dream: KQQ with two hearts. Giant villain leads and action folds to me. I don't want to scare off heart draws, but we're also both deep, so I min raise to build some value and work to get stacks in with my full house. Action folds back to villain, who tanks. Finally, he calls. Turn brings a low heart. He thinks for a bit, then checks. I bet 1/2 pot, and villain check-ships it. My turn to tank. Only hand that beats me is KK, and there are lots of other hands in his range that I'm crushing. I shrug and call off my entire stack. Villain turns over AQ for trips....
...and over course the river is an Ace. Boat over boat. Results don't matter, though, right? Right?! Yeah, right.
Good news is MM is still in the game at this point, and I've got 10% of him. I walk around the building a few times and clear my head. Then jump into a $3/$6 limit full ring game. A big fat older guy who hasn't bathed for what seems like weeks is sitting to my right. I am gasping for air in the envelope of his unbelievably bad body odor, but I'm also getting good cards. Two laps later, I'm up $50 in profit, but I am finding it difficult to play poker while holding my breath. Brain needs oxygen. Must breathe... The stench is overpowering, so I finally stand up and cash out. Twenty minutes later, MM comes out of his own personal cage match, dejected, out of chips, and muttering about being card dead, card dead, card dead..
We go catch lunch at Sweet Tomatoes before the long, wet drive home. Poker is fun. Poker sucks. Take your pick.